Carer's CV

One of the main themes of the Selfish Pig, is that people, including carers, do not regard caring as a real job. It's done in a house, not an office, so it's not a real job. You don't get paid for it, so it's not a real job. There are 'professional carers' who do caring as a 9-5 job and get paid for it, unlike the unpaid carer, who does it all hours of the day and night, so they are a professional and you - well, you're not, are you?

This got me to thinking about caring as a job. What skill set goes with being a carer, and what would a carer's CV look like?

I am a quick thinker in potentially lethal situations.
Examples; Shutting the passenger door of a car that has been opened accidently while driving at 70mph on the A9.

I have highly developed extra-sensory perception.
Example; If a gale is blowing outside, I'll sleep through it. If a pneumatic drill is going outside my window, I pay no attention. If I hear the sound of water running through the pipes, I am out of my bed and downstairs in two seconds, before the turned-on taps flood the bathroom.

I am an expert on buying and selling.

Example;Houses, antiques, car boot sales, property makeovers; I can tell you anything that's on daytime telly.

I am very good at multi-tasking.

Example; Can eat own meal with one hand, feed mum with the other and use my third hand to hold onto the dog, so that he doesn't steal all of Mum's food.

I am very good at diplomacy.

Example; how we managed to get out of Spar without that brickie punching us, when Mum said his face needed a good wash, I'll never know.


Ok Sir Alan; am I hired or fired?