As our health boards are compiling studies of this and that, we thought that we would compile a wee study of our own, on when you can have a heart attack in Glasgow, if you have to travel to the Southern General. Here are our intrepid traffic academics' results.
Good heart attack times; any time before 7am and after 12 midnight, when roads are clear.
Bad heart attack times; between 8 and 10 am; between 4 and 7pm most days; after 7pm when traffic in the Clyde tunnel is reduced to one lane; any time there is a match at Ibrox.
Heart Attack Avoidence; do not listen to football matches on your car radio,between 4 and 7pm, while driving through the Clyde tunnel, especially European fixtures. You'll be DOA.
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